• Aleksandra Chumak

Does our family history affect our relationships with money?

I always wanted to make big, enormous, huge money. And I also was always avoiding them. I would make just enough to survive or when I started making much more it was for tuition payment. Then I didn’t make it to the school I wanted and my income dramatically dropped right away.

Recently my husband and I came to an upscale restaurant in Palm Beach, Florida, and unexpectedly I had a severe anxiety attack. There was no explicit reason for that. My husband was calm, we have been to expensive restaurants before, I am not from a poor family. But I couldn’t stop myself. I was shaking, my hands got numb, I was about to cry and run away.

I started doing a Constellation in my mind. I know that my ancestors lost all their property to the government back in 1917, and they were sent to Siberia to a ‘labor camp’ where they died. One brother out of three escaped and started his family far from their hometown. They never wanted the property again. They would rather have a family - next to them and alive.

Why did I learn from their past? That big money is a danger. Deadly danger.

Then I read “Choice”, a book by Dr. Edith Eva Eger, where she describes her years in Auschwitz. I was crying for three hours while reading, and with these tears, I was cleaning out our ancestral emotional baggage, recognizing it and letting it go. Back then good money could buy new passports and save lives. So money is good, on one hand. Money is dangerous, on the other hand. Our family, ancestors went through the War, Famine, Concentration camps, USSR’s property expropriation. etc.

How could I possibly have healthy relationships with money without facing my history, my past, all sacrifices that my ancestors made? If you have disturbing emotional relationships with money - start looking at your past.